The 12 Step Program - Step 5 (Part 5)

So now we are going to talk about the next part of this fifth step. Again, to remind you, this step is: admitted to God to myself and to another human being the exact nature of my wrongs. In this episode we will be talking about that “other human being”.

I believe that the most important part of this step is the preparation that we do before doing this part of the step. I cannot emphasize enough the importance of finding the right person to do this part of the fifth step with. In the Oxford group, which I consider the precursor of any twelve-step program, they use the word confession. The person they would usually do this confession with, was one they called changed. I believe a person who is working these 12 steps becomes changed when they honestly absorb the third step as part of their own being. If you are attending meetings and looking around for someone with whom to do this step, please do not rush it. That person is not necessarily someone who you are friends with. It is not necessarily your sponsor. It is someone who is trying to navigate the 12 step program in a way that you would like to emulate for your own way of life. Here are some ideas for that person.

• There are quite a few folk with a religious vocation who are also members of a 12 step program. After all, they are still human.

• I don’t mean to rule out your sponsor at the normal course of action. As a matter of fact if you have found a sponsor who is trying their best to acquire a way of life based on the spiritual surrender indicated in the steps, well, by all means, consider doing this this step with them.

•        There is really no person, vocation, or occupation that is ruled out for this fifth step participant. The qualifications I would suggest are someone who is striving for a spiritual way of life, as well as someone who is willing to really listen to what you have to say, and possibly offer some wise suggestions for how you could improve your life in the future.

Sometimes you might be dealing with difficult moral issues or even legal issues, and you would really have to take this into consideration when choosing your fifth step participant. I have heard the occasional story about someone who did 1/5 step with another member of a 12 step program and either overheard or was told that someone was repeating what they had said to others. Many of us, by this time in our program, really have begun a new way of life and hearing someone repeat one of our wrongs is just not important. We might even pray for their awakening. This part of the fifth step

In any event, choose wisely. If you do, you will find it to be an experience to be remembered for its fullness and love. I found a great weight lifted from my shoulders and I really did begin to see life a little differently. This part of the fifth step can be a crucial springboard to a new way of life. Don’t forget, this is a God-given program, and whether you believe it or not, God really does know what He’s doing.