The 12 Step Program - Step 6 (Part 2)

So , my friends, the six step has always been a little bit weird for me. Once again, it says that I was entirely ready to have God remove always defects character. Let me tell you now, that when I finally was honest enough to do the steps in earnest, I was not, in any way shape or form, entirely ready. I had everything that this program has to offer, on my side. I knew I could manage my life. I believe that a higher power was there for me and for my use. I finally, finally, made his decision to turn my will and my wife over to the care of God’s direction. I didn’t fourth and fifth step. They were difficult for me because they entailed dealing with things and problems in my life that weren’t easy to face. Now, here I was at the 6th step. I did not really know how to handle the sixth and seventh steps. Sure, I had gone over and over all those things in my head, with God, and with other people. But I just did not know how I was going to get rid of them.

Although it has been many years since I began doing this program, this way of life, and Ernest, there are still shortcomings around. I don’t like it, and I don’t give into them, but it is really hard to throw them out as if they never existed. I have always pictured this place where I keep my shortcomings in character defects like a room in a dungeon, where each one is tied up neatly in a little or bigger sack, waiting for me to deal with them. Most of those sacks are gone, and I guess my way of dealing with the others has been to behave in the opposite way that they used to dictate. Oh, I know that I have been given for these and I have forgiven myself. That is not the problem. I guess I sometimes live in fear that because I haven’t been able to make a complete tabula rasa, that they will come back to bite me.

So, as I said last week, thank God for step 10! He has given me the desire and the willingness to keep checking on myself and making sure I am following his direction and not mine. Every once in a while, with God’s help, I am able to pick up one of those sacks and heaving into the fire. It is a great relief.

All I can say is that this cleaning up stuff is a lot of work! But because of that third step, I do not have to fight the impulses to do those character defects and shortcomings in the longer. I just have to finally come to terms with them, and, as I said, try to do the opposite of what I used to, because that is God’s direction for me.